


Special Delivery

by Iflyinmydreams (orphan_account)



Series: The Special Delivery Series [2]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bittersweet, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Loneliness, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-01-24 05:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21333079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Iflyinmydreams
Summary: L is a grumpy recluse who finds he fancies his delivery guy. He begins ordering senseless items just to see him again. Will the budding friendship between them blossom into something more? Can Light's love heal the detective from his difficult past?
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Series: The Special Delivery Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697410
Comments: 25
Kudos: 47





	1. Amazon, My Old Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly it randomly popped into my head that it would be super cute if L ordered stuff off Amazon constantly just to see Light and this is what came of it 😂. I'm thinking the will be a few chapters, idk. Hope you enjoy!

The doorbell rang and L shuffled up from his seat with a grumble to get the door. _Better not be those damn Jehovah’s witnesses agai_n, he thought with disdain as he peered through his peephole. To his relief, it was the delivery guy with a package. “About time it got here,” he mumbled as he opened his door a crack.

“Mr. Law-lie-yet?”

“Law-lee-et,” L corrected.

“Ah, got it. Sorry. Sign here,” he said, handing over the little hand held electronic device. L scribbled something unintelligible and then took the package, closing his door without another word. “Sure hope his day gets better,” the young man mumbled under his breath as he skipped down the front porch steps back to his truck.

He enjoyed his job despite the fact that it was an all weather job and he loathed the rain. Other than that, it paid pretty well and he intended to take full advantage of their scholarship program. His family couldn't afford to send him to school so he found his own way. Things were looking pretty promising, and he saved just about every cent he made as well. With any luck, he'd get through school debt free. Wouldn't that be something.

Back in that old house the delivery truck was speeding away from, Mr. L Lawliet was tearing open the packaging to the part he needed for the computer he was building. With his line of work he really needed computer power that just wasn’t available in PC's from a store. Just a few more pieces and his machine would be complete.

Hopping on his laptop, L searched for a few accessories. There was nothing wrong with wanting a strip of color changing LED lights to go behind his desk. And a mouse pad that lit up in colorful streaks when you moved your mouse was a nice touch as well. Might as well get a keyboard that can light up to match everything else. His was getting old anyway, the keys were sticky and the Q didn't work. A new computer called for a new keyboard anyway, didn't it? 

After a few hours were spent purchasing completely unnecessary but highly desired items, L tinkered with his toy before growing tired and deciding to eat dinner. Customarily, dinner consisted of delivery or leftover delivery. It just so happened that he had a little Chinese food left from last night.

The wood floors of his old house creaked with every step, echoing the sounds of loneliness L kept buried deep within his heart. He was fine, he'd tell himself. Everything was just fine. Dinner alone was fine. Sleeping alone was fine. L wondered if he should get a dog. Too much hassle and hair, he decided. 

Over the next few days L would see that young man who couldn't pronounce his name several more times. “Mr. Low-lee-et?”

“Law-lee-et.” It was becoming some kind of game. L didn't think his last name was that hard. Maybe this kid was yanking his chain. “Thanks,” L said as he received his package.

Surprised the strange, grumpy man actually thanked him for a change, Light’s eyes widened a bit and he paused before saying, “Welcome,” and heading off.

For the first time L noticed that young man had amber eyes. How unusual. He'd never seen anything like it before. They were nearly golden. Unable to stop thinking about that pretty face and those stunning sunset eyes, L opened his laptop to see what else he needed from Amazon. Every part for his computer had come in, but he needed a new printer, right? And ink. And paper. And now that he thought about it, his blender that he never used was quite old and he could sure use an upgraded one to also never use. He selected next day delivery on that, spacing out the other items so they'd come in at different times over the week. He really needed these things, too. It wasn't about seeing that nice young man again at all. Nope.

“Mr. Laugh-eye-yet?”

“Seriously?”

“I'm kidding. I know it's Lawliet,” Light smiled.

L laughed for the first time in what was probably years. With a genuine smile, he signed his name. Without thinking, he asked, “Do you wear color contacts or are your eyes really that color?”

“They're genuine,” he winked.

“They're beautiful.”

“Thank you. Now you have a nice day, Mr. Lawliet!”

“Call me L.”

“Alright, L. See you tomorrow probably!” And with that, the beautiful young man was gone.

L felt silly for his question when he shut the door but shrugged. It was innocent enough. He was sure people asked that young man that question all the time. “I don't even know his name,” L mumbled. He'd get it next time.

The next day, deliveries were running early in the morning. L had barely finished his coffee when the doorbell rang. He hurried to open it, a very tired looking young man standing before him. “Good morning,” L said.

“Morning L,” he yawned, “Excuse me. Didn't sleep much last night.”

“Oh? Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just have finals this week. Tried to cram last night.”

“Do you drink coffee? I just put on a fresh pot.”

“Oh wow, yes. That's very kind of you to offer.”

“Come in, I'll make you a to go cup,” L said as he stepped back with his package.

Light followed him into the kitchen, taking in how beautiful the architecture of the house was. L's kitchen table was a mess of stacked papers but otherwise the house was quite clean. “Beautiful home you have,” Light said admiringly.

“Thank you,” L said, “How do you take your coffee?”

“Oh, just a little cream or milk is all.”

“Alright,” L opened his rather barren fridge and pulled out the creamer. “I'll let you do the honors since I don't know how much you like. Also, I don't know your name.” 

Receiving the carton, Light blushed, “How rude of me. I'm Light. Light Yagami.”

“Curious name. I like it.”

“Thank you. And thanks for the coffee, L. I really must be going. They keep us on a tight schedule you know.”

“Of course,” L walked Light to the door and waved him off. He liked having that beautiful, polite young man in his house. And he didn't like having anybody in his house. He hardly tolerated his house cleaners. 

L ran out of things he needed to buy a long time ago. Now he was just buying crap he didn't even want so he could see Light again. He ordered everything from candy to toiletries to clothing. Sometimes he didn't even open the boxes, he just stacked them in his spare room. 

That evening his doorbell rang and he thought it unusual. He wasn't expecting another delivery today. Opening the door, he was surprised to find it was Light. “I came to return your mug. Thank you for letting me borrow it.”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” L said, taking the clean drink ware back. They smiled at each other and L took a chance, “Light, would you like to have dinner with me sometime?”

Light looked surprised, but beamed. “Yes, I’d love that, honestly.”

L blushed and they exchanged phone numbers. “I'll call you,” L said. 

“Alright. Goodnight, L!”

L watched his favorite delivery guy walk off to his beat up little green car. Ah, the days of being a broke college kid. He remembered them well. As he closed the door, he smiled to himself. Light had said yes. He hadn't been on a date in years. Not since… he pushed the thoughts out of his mind. He wanted to be happy in this moment. It had been years of isolation, of loneliness, and he was finally taking the first steps out of it.


	2. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L gets up the nerve to call Light

Butterflies turned in his stomach as he stared at his phone. He did promise to call. He should've said text. Why didn't he say text? L huffed and dialed the number. Maybe Light wouldn't pick up and he could leave a message. That would be best. Then he could justify texting instead.

“Hi, L!” The cheerful, young voice on the other end announced.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. “Hi, Light. Um, when are you free this week for dinner?”

“Does Friday work? We could celebrate my finals being over.”

“Sure. I thought you could come here and I'll cook. Do you have any preferences? Allergies? Do you drink?” _Are you old enough to drink?_

“No allergies. I'll eat nearly anything so surprise me. I enjoy beer and wine.”

“Great! See you Friday!” L hung up the phone feeling happy and energized. He hadn't cooked anything in years, but he used to cook all the time. In fact, once upon a time it was one of his favorite things to do.

Figuring he needed to actually buy something to cook, he made a quick list and got dressed. He rarely left his house anymore, but it was a beautiful day and he couldn't order what he needed from Amazon this time. 

Hopefully the market would be quiet this time of day. Crowds were definitely a no go for L. Once upon a time it was no big deal. A lot of things that were now difficult were once done without thinking twice. Even driving on the quiet roads into town was nerve racking. At least it wasn't busy out and there was nobody there to honk at him for driving ten miles under the speed limit with the windows down, trying to enjoying the feeling of fall weather. 

It took him a few minutes to convince himself to get out of the car when he finally parked at the super market. Deep breathing helped tremendously. Nothing was going to happen. It was a quiet, beautiful day. He could do this. And he did. L was proud of himself for appearing like any normal person grocery shopping. He focused on his list and made his way through the store systematically. The plan was to make shepherd’s pie. It was a simple and delicious dish he used to make all the time. 

He made sure to buy enough to make two. The idea was to bake a practice pie and make sure it was still good. That way, cooking for Light hopefully wouldn't be such a big deal. When he got home he got to work. It came back to him easily. Like riding a bike, he thought as he smiled to himself. The process brought back memories and feelings he had pushed away for many years. While it baked in the oven, he couldn't help but be transported back to another place, another time. He was a completely different person back then, full of hope and love. As he looked around his empty house, he rubbed his arm and frowned. Maybe he should get a dog after all. 

The oven timer dinged and he pulled out the sizzling masterpiece to let it rest. It looked absolutely delicious. Hopefully the taste delivered. After cleaning up to pass the time, he cut a slice and bit in. It was just as good as the last time he made it nearly five years ago. He didn't expect the tear that fell into his food, or the onslaught of overwhelming emotions to crash down on him. Placing the bowl on the table before him, L collapsed onto the floor into a mess of tears and snot. He hadn't cried in a long, long time. This was a good cry, an ugly cry. It was the kind of wailing that cleansed the soul. It was like so many things that were quite unpleasant in the moment but afterward gave great relief.

His pie was cold by the time he pulled himself up off the floor. No matter, he wasn't hungry anymore anyway. With little more to do than put the leftovers away, L decided to go to bed a bit early. Maybe tomorrow would be better. It was a day closer to Friday anyway, and that was a good thing. Thoughts of Light and his beautiful eyes and cheerful smile put L to sleep quite peacefully. 

***

Friday rolled around and L was a frantic mess. The cleaners had come the day before, thank goodness, but he still felt unprepared for company. He spent his time prepping for the shepherd’s pie and going slow, trying to concentrate. A glass of wine to calm the nerves was in order, so he opened one of his reds and enjoyed slowly sipping the red liquid as he cooked. Before he knew it, he was halfway through the bottle and feeling rather silly. Nerves gone, he headed upstairs to quickly change while the pie baked.

What was supposed to be a five minute wardrobe change turned into him huffing and puffing in irritation at having nothing suitable to wear. He never was a fashion forward person, but when did his entire wardrobe reduce itself to white t-shirts and jeans with holes in them? There was one black shirt in good condition, but it was a little snug. He sighed and supposed it would have to do. He only had one pair of jeans without holes as well, and they were also tight. Maybe with enough wine he wouldn't care.

L was folding and placing his last piece of clothing back in its drawer when he inhaled a deep breath of something burning_. Oh no_! Rushing downstairs, L opened the oven just to be hit in the face with smoke. Coughing and desperate to avoid the smoke alarm, he raced to the window and back door and flung them open, turning the fan on high. “Fuck,” he mumbled, walking back to the oven to pull the black dish from it. _Now what?_ He didn't have enough time to make a new one. _Great. Just fucking great._

**I hope you like pizza. Accidentally burned the shepherd's pie I was making. 🤦** L attached a picture of the black catastrophe and sent the text. Light was fast to reply.

**Oof. Love pizza. RIP to the pie. One of my favorite things, BTW, so you'll have to try again one night!**

L smiled. It would be nice to have a second date, but would Light really want one after he got a load of what a weirdo L was? He sighed and put his phone away. Maybe he should drink some water before Light got there. He didn't need to be shitfaced from the start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think! I'm really enjoying this super cute story so far.


	3. Sparks Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light hit it off and Light learns some surprising things about L.

“Hi!” Light greeted with his usual cheerful smile and shining eyes.

“Come in, Light,” L said, opening the door fully and stepping aside.

“I didn't know what to bring so I brought a bottle of wine. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got something I like.” Light said, handing it to him.

“I haven't tried this one yet. Let's open it,” L suggested as he approached his fully stocked bar. “Pizza should be here soon. Hope you like pineapple and anchovies.”

“Um.”

“Kidding,” L smiled as he popped the cork. “Got a cheese and a pepperoni.”

“Ha! Getting me back for teasing you over your name, I see,” Light took the glass L offered and they toasted.

L winked and took a sip. “Oh, this is delicious. You have good taste, my friend.”

_I hope to be more than friends soon_, Light thought. He had to admit he'd developed a bit of a crush on the elusive, grumpy man after their first few encounters. Light always knew how to say his last name properly, but he loved to get him all flustered over it. Made his day, honestly.

The doorbell rang and L rushed to answer it. “Must be the pizza.” He opened the door with a smile and actually greeted the delivery guy rather cheerfully. It was a bit out of character for L, but perhaps he was just hungry. Closing the door behind him, pizza in hand, he said, “I hope you're hungry!”

“Famished,” Light said, relieving L of one of the boxes and making his way to the kitchen counter.

They plated the less than gourmet food and grabbed their wine and sat at the table. “So Light, what are you in school for?”

“Criminal justice,” he said between bites. “My father is Chief of police and I hope to follow in his footsteps.”

“Oh, wow,” L admired that and realized he'd worked with Light’s father in the past. “That's quite an honorable path to take.”

“Thank you,” Light smiled, “What do you do?”

“Coincidentally enough, I'm a detective.”

“No way! That's awesome. I bet you have some wild stories about interesting cases.”

“I do. My favorite was a mass murderer who was seemingly killing people through magical powers. You might remember it because it was quite public. Do you remember the Kira killings?”

“You solved that case? That's incredible!”

“Thank you. It wasn't just me. I had a team.”

“Still impressive. What's the worst case you've ever taken on?”

L wasn’t ready to answer that. His breath hitched and he sipped his wine, trying to buy time. Setting the glass down, he finally stated, “It's personal and I struggle to talk about it. Do you remember the Mars Theatre shooting?”

“Yes, I could never forget that. Several classmates died in that shooting. I was supposed to see that play, but I was sick and stayed home.”

A chill shot through L. “I was the guy who shot the shooter. I had excused myself to use the restroom just before it happened. When I heard the screams, I ran in and drew my weapon. I came in through a door that put me right behind him. I had a clean shot of the back of his head, so I took it.”

“Damn,” Light was breathless. He was sitting before a true hero. _Was he alone at the theatre? Oh, God, I bet he wasn’t. Do I ask? “_You saved a lot of people that night, and countless more after discovering he was part of an extremist group going around the country planning shootings.”

“Yeah, I wish I was faster,” L said sadly. _Maybe I could've saved them._

The conversation had taken a sad and serious turn, and Light didn't want to keep going down that path. It obviously tortured the detective to remember what happened. “More pizza?” Light asked as he lifted L's plate along with his.

“No, but I will take more wine.”

“I'll bring the bottle in.”

“I thought maybe we could watch a movie? I wasn’t sure what you'd be up for after dinner,” L called into the kitchen as he moved to his sofa in the living room.

“A movie sounds good,” Light said as he emerged from the kitchen, wine bottle in hand.

L selected a comedy and Light felt grateful for the change of pace as he refreshed their glasses. He sat close to L and wondered how the other man would feel about him taking his hand. He wasn't quite sure yet. Halfway through the movie, L popped open another bottle of wine and Light didn't even think before grabbing L's hand when he went to sit down. They looked at each other. “Is this ok?”

“Yes,” L whispered.

At that moment, the movie was over for Light. Overwhelmed with desire, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to L's soft lips. When L pressed in deeper, Light licked across L's lips, gaining entry as the man opened his mouth and invited him in. Light's free hand found L's hair and tangled itself in it. L set his wine glass down and placed his free hand on the back of Light's head as he reclined onto the couch, Light crawling over him.

They panted for breath as they continued kissing, hands unclasping so they could explore each other's bodies. It had been so long since L felt this way that he nearly forgot what to do. It drove him mad to feel Light's clothed erection press against his own, and he wondered how slutty it would be to fuck a guy on the first date.

“We should stop,” Light said, pulling away. He didn't want to get carried away with wine and hormones with a man he barely knew. Experience taught him that could have major consequences. 

“Is everything ok?” L sat up a little, hair ruffled and adorable.

“Yes! I just… I didn't want to mess this up. I'm having a great time and I really like you,” Light smiled sweetly and placed a kiss on L’s pouty lips.

“I really like you too,” L smiled back, “I haven't felt this way in a long time.”

“Me either,” Light said, brushing a stray hair from L's face. “Want to finish the movie?”

“Sure.”

The rest of the night went well, the two snuggling close on the couch, fingers entwined, sharing the occasional kiss. Light left around midnight, tired but reluctant to go. With one last goodbye kiss, he said, “My place next time? I would love to cook for you.”

“Sounds great,” L said. He couldn't believe how much Light seemed to genuinely like him. As he shut the door and turned around, he touched his lips. It felt like a dream. Maybe things were changing for him. Maybe he'd be able to finally move on.


	4. What Happened to L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L tells Light why he's the way he is.What

It could have been that L simply want paying attention. After all, Light certainly served as a hell of a distraction. L was ordering less things but receiving more texts and phone calls, smiling and heart fluttering a little every time his phone buzzed. But that all came to screeching halt when L realized the day he agreed to have dinner over at Light's house was the same day as the anniversary of the Mars Theatre Shooting.

He never went anywhere on that day. Customarily, he laid in bed and tried to shut out the nightmare of it all. There was no way he was going to be able to suffer through a date. _Fuck_, he thought, hoping Light didn't think he was trying to avoid him. Pulling out his phone, L sighed as he shot Light a text.

_I'm so sorry to do this, but something’s come up and I can't do this Saturday. Next weekend?_

As always, Light was quick to reply: _sure thing_. 😁

_Ok, so that was easy_. Glad Light didn't pry, L put his phone away and sighed. He'd taken on his first case in months, but now that he had, he wished he hadn't. Figuring the work would still be there later, L settled on taking a nap instead. 

***

Light was young and naive and many other things, but stupid was not one of them. It didn't take him long to figure out the reason L cancelled was because the anniversary of the MT Shooting was that day. The only dilemma he now faced was whether or not he intruded on L's space that day. He wanted to be there for the man, but he also knew this was personal.

Figuring it couldn't hurt to try, Light bought L some chocolate with hazelnuts, which turns out is his favorite thing in the entire world, and drove to L's house. It wasn't like he had any other plans for Saturday, besides, he really wanted to see L. Waiting two weeks seemed like torture.

As he pulled up to the house he noticed it looked like nobody was home. Not a single light was on. When he got to the front door, there wasn't a single noise inside. Not a TV or radio or anything. He knocked, “L?”

Startled from his nap on the couch, L pulled the blanket from over his head and wiped the drool from his face. Drowsily, “Light?” He wasn't expecting Light today. Didn't he cancel their date? Anxiety shot through him as he went to open the door.

“Hey, L,” Light said shyly, holding out the candy. “Look, I understand if you're not up to seeing me today, but I thought I would come by and check on you. I know today must be hard for you.”

Hesitantly, L took the candy and smiled a little. “No, I'm glad you're here. Come in.”

Light followed L into the living room where they sat next to each other on the couch. L wrapped himself back up in the blanket. It was comforting. Light thought he looked adorable. Unsure how much affection L was up to receiving, Light settled for holding his hand. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

L wasn’t sure. “Maybe. To be honest, I've never talked about it before.”

“Well, I'm all ears if you feel up to it,” Light said with a squeeze to L's hand.

Looking down then back at Light, L breathed deep. “We went to the theatre about once a month as a family. My brother, his wife, their child. I always went with my husband and two sons.”

Light was shocked to learn that L had been married, and with kids no less. It wasn't something he was expecting at all, and he didn't like where this story was heading one bit. Still, he remained quiet as he nodded encouragingly for L to continue.

“All six of them were among the victim's. I held my husband as he died in my arms. I was covered in blood from trying to administer CPR to my children. The emergency medical team had to pry me off them so they could check me for wounds.”

The way L said it, so plainly, so matter of fact, gave Light a chill. He couldn't imagine the agony of losing his entire family like that. “I'm so sorry, L. That's terrible. I can't imagine what you've been through.”

L looked down at their joined hands, a tear escaping his eye, “It's ruined my life, Light. I'm afraid to go places. Hell will freeze over before I go out to see a movie or show off any kind again. Driving takes the piss right out of me.”

Unable to help himself, Light wrapped L in a hug as the tears quietly fell. “Thank you for telling me,” Light whispered, kissing the side of L's head. 

It boggled L's mind how Light was still there, still wanted to be a part of his life. Didn't he understand how messed up L was? Did he really want to be with someone who never went anywhere? Who was chronically depressed? This was an overwhelming amount of emotional baggage. Either Light didn't understand or he didn't care. “I'm so glad you're here with me. Thank you,” L whispered.

The two of them decided hot tea and a romantic movie would help distract them from the pain of the anniversary of L's family's death. Eventually, Light could hear the soft snoring from L as he slept in his lap, and Light smiled. L did not awaken when Light carried him upstairs and tucked him in bed. With a note on his nightstand saying he'd be back tomorrow, Light kissed L's forehead and saw himself out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry curious to know how the truth lined up with what you thought was going on


	5. A New Addition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L asks Light to help him do something

As promised, Light returned in the morning with an assortment of pastries and coffee for the two of them. L had just made it out of bed when he arrived, Light greeting him with a chaste kiss and winning smile. Already the day was a little bit brighter for L.

“I didn't know what you like so I got one of nearly everything,” Light said as they sat at the table together.

L smiled as he opened the box, choosing the custard immediately. “If it has sugar in it, I like it.”

“I'll make a note of that,” Light laughed, “Did you sleep alright?”

“Nightmares kept waking me up but that's nothing new,” L explained as he ate.

“I'm sorry,” Light was curious to know what L had tried so far to remedy his fractured emotional state, but wasn’t sure he should ask. It might offend L and he simply didn't know the man well enough to tell if it would. “What do you want to do today?”

L's eyes didn't leave his custard as he mumbled, “Nothing.”

Light deflated a little. He'd hoped to get the man out of the house, distract him. As Light stared out the window, he considered what a beautiful day it was. “Why don't we go for a walk? It's gorgeous out and the sunshine always makes me feel better. Maybe it'll do the same for you.”

That wasn’t exactly L's idea of nothing. Honestly, it sounded exhausting. “Sure,” he tried faking interest, but was probably pretty transparent to Light.

After breakfast, L sluggishly put on his shoes and the two set off on a walk through the neighborhood. Light laced his fingers through L's, and L decided that it felt quite nice to hold hands. _Maybe this won't be so bad after all_. The day was quite stunning, the temperature perfect, and he was with his new love interest. They passed a woman walking a German Shepherd and it reminded L that he'd thought of getting a dog. “Do you want to help me with something?”

“Anything,” Light said.

“I've been considering getting a dog. I thought it might… help. I don't know what to get, though. I don't even know where to start.”

“I would love to help you! We could look at shelter dogs,” Light suggested. “Want to go today?”

L mulled it over for a moment, “Sure.”

They finished their walk around the neighborhood, discussing possible breeds that might be suitable for L. He definitely didn't want something that required a lot of maintenance or that was incredibly high energy. Nothing too small or that might bark a lot. That ruled out several breeds of dog and L began making a list as they got in the car. L had asked Light to drive but insisted they take his car so any dog they decided on didn't ruin Light’s car. Light didn't mind; L had a pretty sweet ride.

There was a shelter not too far from L's house, thankfully. Even though having someone else behind the wheel helped ease L's anxiety, it did not take it away. Thankfully, Light held his hand the whole ride, not minding one bit that L sometimes had to breathe deeply and close his eyes. 

They pulled up to the shelter and got out of the car. Barking and whining dogs could be heard from the parking lot. The building was the ugliest brown color, made of cinder blocks and a tin roof. Inside it smelled of dog piss and cleaner. The large lady behind the desk didn't seem too enthused to see the two men walk in. “Can I help you?” She asked, not seeming interested in helping them in the slightest.

“We’d like to look at your adoptable dogs, please,” Light said, ever polite.

“Sign in here,” she said, pointing to a sheet on a clipboard. “And then go through the door behind my left. When you find a dog you'd like to see, tell a volunteer and they will take it out for you.”

“Thank you,” Light smiled pleasantly as he signed both their names.

They walked through the door and the noise and smell grew even more intense. Both men wanted to turn and run out, but didn't. Any dog who had to suffer a life in this place deserved to be adopted. There were a few litters of puppies, but L knew a puppy would be too much work. They passed by a stunning husky, but it had too much hair. Great Danes were too big. Chihuahua’s were too small. Pitbulls were too energetic and possibly aggressive.

“Oh wait. What about this one?” standing in his little glass and cinder block cell, a wire haired terrier mix of some kind wagged his nubby tail and stared at the two men. He was a medium size and seemed friendly enough. Fully grown but not old, and cute with his white coat and big dark brown spots.

“He’s adorable. Kind of reminds me of Wishbone,” Light said.

L recalled that show and laughed quietly in hindsight. Yes, this little guy did resemble the little dog who so loved classic tales. “I want to look at him.”

Light turned and waved down a volunteer. The young boy instructed them to wait inside a small glass paneled room and he would bring the dog right in. They did as they were told and a few minutes later the boy brought the cute little dog in on a leash and left them alone. “His name is Terry the Terrier,” the boy laughed.

Light and L exchanged looks but as soon as the leash was handed off to L, the dog leapt into his lap and wiggled his whole back end as he tried desperately to lick L's face.

“I think he likes you!” Light announced, and Terry crawled over to him and began reaching for Light's face too.

“This is definitely the one,” L said, genuine happiness spreading across his face for the first time.

The two men walked the dog out of the room toward the front. Terry was surprisingly well behaved on the leash. L paid the adoption fee and loaded little Terry into the car. “Guess we need to get him food and toys and maybe a crate?” L said, petting the dog as he sat in L's lap.

“Sounds good,” Light drove them to the nearest large chain pet super store and walked Terry in. Comically, the dog immediately lunged for the hamster cage, and L felt embarrassed as he reeled the dog in. This would take some getting used to for him. 

Light grabbed a cart and they began their shopping adventure. It was overwhelming how many different products there were. L chose Terry a new collar and leash, deciding he couldn't walk him in the slip knot from the shelter forever. Green seemed to be a good color for the dog. He got him a few toys, one of which Terry furiously played with inside the cart, much to both men's amusement. They deliberated over what seemed like an endless supply of different dog foods, settling on a brand that seemed both nutritious and affordable. They got bowls, shampoo, brushes, nail clippers, ear cleaner, a tooth brush and tooth paste (L was shocked that brushing a dog's teeth was a thing), flea preventive, a fluffy bed and a wire crate. “I really think that's everything,” L said.

Light giggled. They had about half the store in their cart. They checked out and loaded up, excited to make Terry's new home welcoming. He seemed like a pretty good dog so far, and L wondered why he'd been surrendered to the shelter. He hoped he didn't uncover some kind of horrible destructive behavior once they got home.

“I'm going to walk him for a bit before we go inside,” L said once they pulled into the drive.

“Sounds good. I'll unload the car.” Light gave L a brief kiss and the two parted ways. Light began carrying everything in and L headed down the street.

It wasn't long before Terry saw a cat scurry across the street and he decided to bolt after it. L was glad he wasn't a large dog, otherwise he might've ripped L's arm off. “Terry! Bad dog!”

L managed to wrangle the animal back into the grass. After relieving himself, they went home to find Light had already put everything away and had the crate put together. “Where do you want it?”

“Maybe in the corner of the living room?” L suggested. Light had already placed the bed and toy inside that seemed to be Terry's favorite. L set the dog down and unleashed him, and immediately the little guy began exploring the house. L turned to Light, “Thank you so much for this,” he said.

“You’re welcome. You seem genuinely happy now that he's here. I think he'll do you a lot of good.”

Both men turned their attention towards the kitchen when they heard a rustling sound. They walked over to find Terry had jumped onto the table and had made a meal of their leftover pastries. “Bad dog! Get down!” L yelled. Terry grabbed a muffin as he bolted from the kitchen and ran up the stairs far too fast for L to catch him. He huffed, “I think I'm going to need to hire a trainer.”

Light simply laughed and cleaned up the mess the dog made. This adventure would be really good for L, he thought. Give him something to distract him from his sadness and keep him company when he was lonely. Sure, it would be an adjustment, but it would be a fun one at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so fluffy I can't even. Maybe they should call him Terry the Terror 😂


	6. Nightmares and Bad Dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L has a rough first night with Terry

Light decided to text L later that night after he got home to see how things were going. L's text back had him rolling with laughter.

**This cursed animal shit EVERYWHERE because of the pastries he stole. Then, I locked him in his crate to try and go to bed and he would not. Stop. Howling. So now he's upstairs in bed with me and I swear to God if he shits in my bed he's going back to the shelter.**

Light decided to try and go with something sympathetic: _I'm so sorry babe. Hopefully this is the worst of it. Have fun cuddling with the pup. I wish it were me!_

_I wish it were you, too_. L thought as he placed his phone on the nightstand and pulled the covers over his head. The dog had curled up against his back and was already asleep. It was actually really cute and L decided he could forgive him for shitting smelly liquid all over his guest room. _He called me babe_, L smiled as he drifted off.

Maybe a night would come where L stopped having nightmares but that night was not this night. Typically, he'd just gunned down the shooter when he ran, panic stricken and in shock, to his family. But this time it was Light he was lifting into his arms, blood pouring from his mouth as he tried to say goodbye.

L shot straight up at what he thought was a gun shot but turned out to be thunder. It was storming outside and his little dog was shaking in fear. “Come here boy. Get under the covers with me,” L said and Terry curled up on L's lap, his shaking slowly subsiding. L petted him as he watched flashes of lightning and rain beat against his window. It was almost soothing, and pretty soon the man and his dog were asleep once again.

By morning, Terry was whining annoyingly to go out. He laid himself across L and groaned. Finally giving in to the demands of the dog, L rolled out of bed and shuffled downstairs. He made coffee and leashed the dog, stepping outside sleepily to walk him. L yawned into his mug as Terry sniffed the grass. He was sure he was quite a sight to his neighbors as they drove to work. Hair disheveled, standing there in a bathrobe, only thing missing was a cigarette.

“Come on boy, let's go eat breakfast,” he said as he drained the last of his coffee and yawned. It would've been nice to just go back to bed, but he had a case to work on and figured he might as well get started.

***

The last of the leaves fell from the trees and L traded in his bathrobe for a heavy coat on his walks with Terry. Things were going well with Light, they'd spent L's birthday together and so far it was his favorite date. He hadn't celebrated his birthday in five years and honestly nearly forgot about it. Then Light showed up at his house with a strawberry chocolate cake and L thought he'd die from happiness. 

Christmas was coming, a holiday he typically avoided. Sometimes he just got really drunk and passed out, but somehow that seemed like it wouldn't be happening this time around. This year, instead of deliberating over what booze to buy to get obliterated, he fretted over what to buy Light for Christmas. He felt clueless, but obviously Amazon was there to save the day. 

He found it hilarious that he could get socks and matching boxers with his face printed all over them. Definitely ordering these. It occurred to him that he could get Light a bottle of his favorite wine as well. _Can't only buy him silly gifts._

Satisfied with his online shopping spree, L pushed himself up from his desk and stretched. Terry got excited and barked as he spun in circles. L laughed at him. Getting a dog had been really good for him.   
L's phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out with a smile. A text from Light!

**I scored tickets to Lady Gaga. Don't lie and tell me you don't like her music. It's basically your duty as a gay man to love her. Want to go to the concert with me?**

L laughed to himself but also sighed, knowing there was no way he'd be able to go to a concert. He felt an impending panic attack just thinking of it.

**I do love her, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get out of the car. Maybe you can take your little sister? I'm sure she'd be enthralled.**

Light sighed down at his phone. He didn't want to take Sayu. He wanted to take L. So far they had only gone on one date that wasn’t at either of their places, and L seemed uncomfortable at the restaurant the entire time. L couldn't do festivals, movies, theme parks, anything involving a crowd of any kind. It seriously limited their ability to have fun. Light would've loved to whisk him away to the mountains or the beach, but L couldn't tolerate a long car ride. Light's fingers hovered over the keyboard of his phone a moment before tapping out a reply. I

**will ask her. Can I come over? It's my day off and I'm bored**.

L smiled down at his phone:** of course! See you soon** 😁

Light sighed as he put on his coat and grabbed his car keys. This was going to be a difficult conversation, but it was necessary. As he drove, he wondered if he should stop and buy some pastries. Maybe a sweet offering would lessen the blow. It began to snow as he pulled into the parking lot of the bakery. The subtle dusting of white flakes was beautiful, and he smiled, thinking hot cocoa would be a nice addition to the treats.


	7. Snowed In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But baby, it's cold outside.

“Hey baby!” Light smiled as L invited him in. Handing L his hot cocoa, he said, “You may have to reheat it.” Terry wasted no time jumping on Light and attempting to lick him everywhere.

L took it over to the microwave, shaking his head at his bad dog as Light placed the box of goodies on the table. While it heated, he turned to Light and kissed him. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Light smiled as he wrapped his arms loosely around L. Terry groaned and went to go lay on his bed.

The microwave beeped and L pulled away to fetch his drink. Light fumbled around a bit before he got up his courage. “L, can we talk?”

“Sure,” when he turned and saw the look on Light's face, he knew something was wrong. “What is it?”

Light sat at the table and motioned for L to sit across from him. Opening the box, Light offered L a pastry. He removed a muffin from the box and picked at it. “I've really enjoyed our time together, L. You're amazing-“

“Oh my God you're breaking up with me,” L blurted out, interrupting Light.

“What? No. Shit, L I'm sorry I worried you. No, I'm not breaking up with you,” he reached across the table and held L's hand.

“Oh thank God,” L breathed, relief washing over him.

“I'm concerned, however. While I thoroughly enjoy the time we spend together, I have to admit that I would love to be able to do more with you. I want to take you places, I want us to be able to go away together.” Light took a breath and looked away, “I know you've been through something I can never understand. It doesn't feel right to ask you to get help, but here I am, asking.”

L lowered his eyes and thought a moment. It felt like he was already fucking up his relationship. “I'm sorry,” L whispered, “I realize I'm difficult. You make me very happy, and I want to make you happy too.” L looked at Light and hesitated, “I wasn't sure how you would take this, so I haven't said anything about it yet. I made an appointment with a therapist. I knew I needed to do something.”

Light was surprised but glad, “Why didn't you tell me?”

“I was embarrassed.” L looked down at his muffin. He hadn't touched it. “I've been living around my problems for years, telling myself it's fine. Then you came along and disrupted it. Which is good, don't get me wrong. But I knew the way I had been living my life needed to change and I couldn't do it alone. I felt inadequate, I guess.”

“L,” Light smiled softly and stood from his chair, walking over to L. He gently tugged him to standing so he could hug the man, “You never have to be embarrassed around me. I want to be there for you, go through this with you. That means telling me things.”

For some reason L had grossly underestimated this young man's commitment to him. Perhaps on some level he figured Light would eventually get tired of his shit and dump him for someone more functional. To him, it was only a matter of time. Instead, he continued investing in the relationship and now he wanted to help L heal from his trauma. Really heal.   
L looked into those loving amber eyes, “I don't deserve you.”

“Yes you do,” he said before kissing L. Light knew L wasn't ready to hear it, but Light had fallen hard for the grumpy detective. They hadn't taken things to the bedroom yet, and to be honest Light was dying to get L naked and underneath him. Again, though, he didn't want to frighten him off. The man was fragile despite trying to seem stoic all the time. 

What Light didn't realize is that L hadn't had sex in five years and totally would've screwed him on date one. He was a bit frustrated with Light because the young man was taking things so slow and it was killing him. There's only so much fantasizing and dildos can do for one man.

“Oh wow, it's really coming down out there,” Light remarked as he looked out the kitchen window.

L turned in Light's embrace and glanced out the window. Pulling out his phone and clicking on the weather app, he immediately saw a winter weather alert. “Oh, looks like we're getting hit with a severe blizzard. Great.”

“Looks like we might be snowed in together,” Light said, sexy smile on his face.

“I don't mind that prospect at all,” L grinned, perverted thoughts running through his mind. “I'm glad I actually went grocery shopping. Otherwise we'd have starved to death.”

Light was about to kiss L again when Terry came in and squeezed between them, whining his usual 'I need to potty' whine. L rolled his eyes. _Great_. “Wanna go with me?”

“Sure,” Light smiled, already reaching for his coat.  
As soon as they were outside, Light wasted no time pelting L with a snowball. Turning around with a devilish grin, L proceeded to get him back, smashing Light right in the face. He burst out laughing at the now red faced Light. His aim couldn't have been more perfect. “Oh, you're in for it now!” Light said as he prepared to throw more snowballs. Terry was barking wildly, playing in the snow and trying to catch the snowballs as L dove behind the car for cover.

They played until their hands were numb inside their soaked gloves and the dropping temperatures forced them back inside. Shedding their coats, hats, and gloves, they placed the soiled garments in the wash but we're both still shivering. “I think a hot bath is in order,” L said, smiling suggestively.

“Together?” Light was surprised.

“Are you alright with that?”

“Yes.” _Hell yes!_ Light tried to play it cool but he was anything but. 

L took his hand and led him up the stairs to his bedroom. Closing the door behind them so Terry would leave them alone, they faced each other as they began stripping. Light couldn't help but touch L's bare chest, admiring his flawless skin. He pulled L to him for a kiss, feeling his arousal beginning to stir in his pants. 

L went into the bathroom and turned on the water, Light wrapping his arms around his waist from behind as he kissed his shoulder. They finished undressing as they waited for the tub to fill, their fingertips still cold against each other's skin.

“Shall we?” L asked when the tub was about halfway full. Light nodded, words escaping him. The piping hot water felt amazing against their cool skin. Even more amazing was the way L's body felt against Light's. 


	8. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally do naked things 😂 yay!

The hot bath delivered as advertised, warming them up quickly. Light ground his erection against L's beneath the water as they kissed, his tongue traveling over L's jaw to suck on his ear lobe. Every noise L made just made Light want him more. “How do you feel about moving things into the bed?”

“I feel like it's perfect timing,” L whispered, wet fingers dampening Light’s hair as he caressed it.

The two stepped out and toweled off as the bath drained. They made their way over to L's King sized bed, where L hesitated a moment. Staring at it, he said, “Only my husband has ever been with me in this bed.” It was more of a realization that anything. It wasn't meant to kill the mood.

Light kissed his shoulder, “We don't have to.”

“I want to. I need to.” L stepped forward and crawled across the perfectly made comforter, turning over and laying on his back, inviting Light over. L rested his head against the pillows as Light crawled over him, the warmth of his skin a welcome reprieve from the chill in the room. “There's lube and toys in the nightstand. Use whatever you want.”

Light sat up and reached over to pull the drawer open. Inside was quite the collection. Light decided he'd have a closer look at the toys later. Right now, he desperately just wanted to be inside L. With lubed up fingers at the ready, he leaned over and kissed L as he circled L's entrance, pressing his thumb in and out before plunging his index finger fully inside. 

L gasped at the sensation. He had remained virtually untouched by another human for five years, and the sudden invasion inside his body overwhelmed him. He gasped at the feel of two fingers inside him, clutching at Light's shoulders as he tried to relax.   
Light began sucking L's cock to try and further relax him as he stretched L out. Lifting off L with a slurp, he asked, “Ready for a third finger?” L swallowed hard and nodded. Light went back down on L, tongue playing with the head of his penis, enjoying the tang of precome as he fingered L open even more. His own cock throbbed with need, and it was all he could do not to shove himself inside L's sweet ass and ravage him.

Finally, he pulled off L before making him come. Sliding his fingers out of L's ready hole, he slid his cock in their place, L letting out a hiss at how much more it stretched him. Light stilled, though at this point it was almost painful to do so. L began to relax and Light started shifting his hips gently, his rhythm soft and slow. As L relaxed more and more, his pace picked up, becoming harder and faster. The bed began slamming into the wall and Terry began barking outside the door. The wind howled outside L's window but they both ignored it all, locking eyes as their climax built, their screams for each other intensifying as they grew nearer and nearer the edge. 

Light came first, his hips bucking wildly and breaths ragged as he rasped out L's name. L followed closely behind, squeezing his eyes shut as he shot hot come all over his own stomach. Light didn't care about the mess, he collapsed on L in a hot, heaving and sweaty mess. L tangled his fingers in damp auburn hair, dizzy in the euphoria of the after glow. 

They laid there quietly for a while, both in their own world, unable to believe they'd finally taken this next step. Light pushed himself up a bit and kissed L. “I'm going to grab a towel to clean up with.”

Pulling out, he slid out of bed and went to the bathroom to retrieve a towel. Once he came back and cleaned them both up as much as possible, they got under the covers and snuggled together as they watched the snow fall outside. Light kissed the side of L's face, and, unable to help himself any longer, whispered, “I love you, L,” into his ear.

In that moment the floodgates opened and all the emotion L had been holding inside came pouring out. Light held him tighter, L burying his face in the warmth of Light's chest as he cried. Light loved him. He loved him. He didn't wait for him to get better, didn't say it after he'd changed. Light loved him right now, in all the glorious mess that he was. It was too much to take in. He turned wet, red eyes up to Light, “I love you too.” 

6 years ago L was certain he was only ever going to love one man. If he'd been asked whether he thought he'd find another lover should he lose his husband, he would've laughed and said “never”. He was married to the man of his dreams, a slightly older man with salt and pepper hair and a gentle demeanor. He was one of L's professors in college, and despite L's advances, they did not become an item until after graduation. He was brilliant and loving, the best father to their two boys. It was a short lived dream, the life L had before. Once it was gone he thought he'd never love again. Even though Light was the opposite of his late husband in just about every way, his love for Light was just as real as it was unexpected. L was finally healing, becoming vulnerable again. He was certain his husband would've wanted that for him. Wherever he was, L was sure he was happy for him.

Light rolled on top of L, his erection very apparent as it bumped against L's thigh. “Round two?”

“Absolutely,” L smiled, kissing those perfect lips. There would be plenty of time for Light and L to explore their newfound sex life together. There was no need to jump head long into all of L's kinks. It wasn't that he didn't feel safe enough to explore these things with Light, but it was just not the right time. He'd had years with his husband to figure things out, try something new, explore and see what they liked.

Ty was very open minded when it came to sex, and L started out reserved and unsure. He needed his husband's encouragement to show him what he was capable of, to teach him things he didn't even know about himself. Ty was always so patient, so kind. When L cried because he was afraid during their first time, he stopped what he was doing and held him. L knew those were experiences he could never relive, but he could have new experiences with Light. 

Light had a bit of a different history, himself. While young and relatively inexperienced, he'd been quite the little whore in college. Not knowing he was gay at first, he had sex with several girls on campus, horrified that he found himself fantasizing about men while he fucked them. It took some soul searching and a few nights of alcohol induced courage to get Light to explore his desires. While at a party, he found himself locked in a bedroom with another guy and threw caution to the wayside. Before he knew it, he was naked beneath a stranger, being penetrated when he wasn't quite sure that was what he wanted. It wasn't a terrible experience, just a strange one.   
He learned from that experience that while he never really became attached to the women he slept with, it was different with men. He pined for the guy he had a one night stand with, but he didn't want anything to do with Light. It was Earth shattering for Light, and he knew casual sex just wasn’t something he could do. So as he made love to L, he hoped L knew how special he was. He hoped he felt his love and that he wanted him for the rest of his life.


	9. Snowpocolypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L continue their fun. L shares memories about his late husband.

It was day two of the snowpocolypse and neither Light nor L had done much more than snuggle between sex sessions. They turned off their phones and focused on each other, ignoring the TV they both said they wanted to watch. “Tell me about your husband,” Light said at random. Realizing how that sounded, he cringed at himself a bit, “If you want to, that is. I feel stupid, never mind.” 

“No, it's quite alright,” L placed his hand on Light's bare chest and looked into his eyes lovingly, “I would love to tell you about him. I don't have anyone to talk to about him, really. He was wonderful. He was actually ten years older than me if you can believe it.” 

“Oh wow,” Light was a little surprised. He'd thought maybe L had a thing for younger men given their nearly 8 year age difference. 

“He was my ethics professor in college, and I'll tell you what, I worked_ so _ hard to get in that man's pants and nothing worked.” 

“An ethical ethics professor. What do you know?” Light joked. 

“Tell me about it. He was such a stand up guy. Made me want him even more. The day I graduated he asked me out. We got married six months later. We both knew we were meant for each other. It was a fairy tale.” L had a dreamy look in his eyes as he remembered. 

“What about your son's?” 

“Twins. Adopted. Beautiful, talented kids with their whole life ahead of them,” L looked as though he were starting to get upset now. 

Light pulled him into his chest, “We can stop if it's too hard.” 

“No, it's ok. I want to tell you about them. We were married a year when the opportunity presented itself. They were 6 when they arrived. It's difficult adopting older children who've been in the system a while because they've already suffered so much abuse.” L explained, “But they adjusted well. We did horse therapy with them. We had them for four wonderful years before they were taken away.” Tears fell and L promptly wiped them away. “Ty was so good with them. They were behind in school and he tutored them every day. He never once lost his patience with them. He talked about getting a farm and buying horses for the boys because they loved it so much.” L suddenly pulled the covers back and stood, “Hang on,” he said, going to the closet and removing a decorative box from a shelf. He brought it over and knelt on the bed as he opened it. Inside were photo albums along with loose pictures. He pulled one out and opened it, passing it to Light. 

It was a family portrait. L's late husband was_ gorgeous. _No wonder L went after him so relentlessly. He had just a hint of grey in otherwise dark hair, tan skin and dark eyes. He was regal looking and tall, well built. Light looked at the boys and laughed a little, “I'm sorry L, for some reason I didn't expect your children to be black. Please tell me people didn't say ‘oh they look just like you’.” 

L, so white he practically glowed in the dark, smiled, “All. The. Time.” He said. 

“Really?” Light laughed a bit harder now. 

“I assume they think we had a black surrogate or something, I don't know.” He shrugged. 

“Well, they're beautiful.” Light said, and he meant it. They were two of the most beautiful children he’d ever seen. As Light flipped through the album, he got a peak into L's old life. There were candid’s of them playing along with more formal, posed pictures. Vacation pictures, pictures of the kids on horses. They looked genuinely happy and full of love. “Your family was so beautiful, L. You guys looked so happy.” 

“We were,” he said, smiling as he remembered these happy times. “I guess it stands to reason that it couldn't last. Can't be happy forever.” 

“Can’t be sad forever either,” Light reasoned. 

L looked up at him, “I suppose you're right.” 

“Thank you for telling me about your family, L. I feel like I know you better now.” 

L smiled as he put the photos away and placed the box back in the closet. It felt good to remember the happy times. It wasn't as hard as it used to be, and to be honest, he remembered some things he'd forgotten. 

Climbing back in bed, he wrapped his arms around Light's neck and kissed him. “I'm hungry,” he whispered against Light's lips. 

“Me too,” Light said, but he didn't make a move to leave the bed. Instead, he pulled L beneath him and began kissing his neck. 

“I meant I’m hungry for food but this woooorks,” L moaned as Light stroked his shaft, bringing him erect. Light's head disappeared beneath the covers and L writhed as he felt that warm mouth on him. It seemed that Light couldn’t decide on an orifice to play with, so he alternated between them all. The teasing drove L mad, yet he didn’t want it to stop. 

So when it did stop, L cocked his head up and glared a bit. Light laughed, head popping out of the covers, “What?” 

“I didn’t say you could stop.” 

“You’re not the boss of me,” Light teased as he kissed his way back up L’s abdomen. 

“You don’t know that. I might be,” L said, flat affect. 

Light paused. _ Oh, shit. _He remembered L’s drawer of toys. There were cuffs, a blind fold, rope in there. He sat up a bit and swallowed, “I, uh, have never done anything kinky.” 

L giggled, “You are so cute, you know.” But Light wasn’t smiling anymore, “Oh, shit babe. You don’t have to do anything if you’re not comfortable.” He reached for Light and touched that pretty face, “I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.” 

“I’m not. You’re not.” Light winced a bit, “I feel like I’m killing the mood.” 

“Not at all,” L got on his knees and leaned into Light, kissing him lovingly. He dropped his hand from Light’s face and stroked him, taking advantage of Light’s open mouth when he groaned into the sensation. Breaking the kiss, he said, “Now, are you in an adventurous mood tonight? It’s ok if you’re not.” 

L hadn’t stopped stroking him, and Light wanted anything that got him inside either that sweet mouth or that sweet ass. “I am. Ah, yes. I am.” 

L laughed, the tone turning mischievous. Stilling his hand, he kissed Light one more time before letting go of his lover and making his way across the bed to the nightstand. He pulled out the entire drawer and lugged it onto the bed. “How about you pick what you want to try on me tonight,” L offered. 

Light brightened a bit at realizing it wasn’t going to be him having to experience anything new and strange. He leaned over the drawer and rummaged through what seemed to be endless toys. Some of them he couldn’t even tell what the hell they were supposed to do. “I’m interested in the cuffs and blind fold and this vibrating plug,” Light finally said, pulling his choices out and laying them on the bed before placing the drawer on the floor.

“Ah, nice. A test of trust and sensory deprivation to heighten the experience. I love it,” L purred. 

Light hadn’t seen L like this before; it was like a whole new side to him had been unleashed. L had become more and more vulnerable and relaxed as time went on and Light found he loved what he saw. Perhaps this was a glimpse into the old L, the L who hadn’t suffered tremendous loss. This was the L who loved passionately and freely, who pursued an older man relentlessly and got what he wanted. Light liked this L. He wanted more of this L, and he was about to get it. 

“Put the blind fold on, then instruct me in what you want for the cuffs,” I instructed. 

“Ok,” Light said as he leaned over and placed the blind fold over L’s eyes. He then kissed him, and gently leaned L back. “Scoot up a little and lift your arms over your head.” 

L obeyed until he felt the head board. He could hear the clink of the cuffs going through the wrought iron bars and the cool metal click against his flesh. He pulled against them and there was no give, just the way he liked it. Light lubed up the plug and wasted no time rubbing it against L’s entrance, the cool feel of it causing him to hiss at first. Light pushed in the tip, then pulled it out, pushing it in a little further and further until L’s body sucked it in. He pressed the button on the end and L moaned in relaxed pleasure as it pulsed through his body. Nothing came next for a moment, but then he felt Light’s warm breath on his cock. “Oh, yes, Light. Give it to me.” 

“Beg for it,” Light whispered. 

L wasn’t expecting that, but he loved this cocky side of Light. “Ok,” he grinned, “Please, _ please _ suck my cock Light. I need it so bad. I need _ you _so bad.” 

That must’ve been good enough for Light because he plunged his mouth over L’s cock and sucked it straight to the base, fast and hard. L gasped and jerked against the cuffs, twisting so much that Light had to push his hips down and hold him there with his hands. Light was shocked when L exploded in his mouth. He genuinely didn’t expect him to come so fast, but he swallowed and pulled off, “I’m going to fuck you now.” L’s entire body shivered with anticipation and Light couldn’t believe the response he was having to his touch. _ Holy shit. _

Removing the plug, Light slicked himself up and eased inside. The plug may have stretched L a bit, but Light was much thicker than it. L groaned and clenched the sheets with his curling toes and he willed his body to relax and accept the penetration. Light pulled nearly fully out each time before sliding back in until he was deep inside L, who breathed out and nodded his ok. That gave Light permission to begin thrusting, starting out soft, but not for long. He became fervent and needy, forgetting himself as he slammed inside L’s trembling body until his hips became rigid and his mouth agape as he spilled inside his lover. It took a minute for him to catch his breath. Both he and L had come pretty fast this time. Light removed L’s blindfold to find eyes staring back at him that said, “I told you, you would love this.” He reached up and uncuffed L, who had red marks from pulling against them. Light held L’s sore wrists, “Are you alright?” 

“Oh, yes. I love it. Proof of all the fun we had,” he said. 


	10. Christmas Decorations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L decides to decorate for Christmas for the first time in five years.

It took a while for either of them to gather the strength or care to go downstairs for food. Eventually, however, L’s stomach got the better of him and he rolled out of bed, not bothering with a robe as he made his way downstairs. Terry was ecstatic to see that all the screaming didn’t mean L had died, and bounced after him into the kitchen.

Light followed slowly behind, deciding he rather liked the no-robe idea as well. Even though they were supposed to be making food, Light had a hard time keeping his  hands off L long enough to get anything done. “You’re relentless!” L giggled.

“Should’ve put a robe on if you didn’t want me all over you,” Light said, purposefully making it difficult for L to make his instant noodles.

“I wish I had lube down here, I’d tell you to bend me over the counter right now,” L said as he closed his eyes and leaned into the kisses and nips Light was lining his neck with.

“I can always run upstairs,” Light whispered as he nibbled L’s ear.

“No, we really need to eat. Let’s hit pause, as hard as that is to do.”

Light conceded without complaint and accepted the bowl of ramen L offered. They sat naked at the kitchen table as they slurped their food down hastily, Terry sitting patiently, waiting for a morsel to drop. When they were finished, it was back upstairs to finish what Light had started in the kitchen. They’d pass out soon after, exhausted from all their fun.

***

Eventually the blizzard passed and Light had to go back to work. L missed him, but refrained from texting him incessantly throughout the day. He didn't want to seem too needy, even though he definitely felt that way.  It didn’t feel the same without him there. The house was too quiet, too empty. L needed to find a way to occupy himself.

For the first time in five years, L decided to put up Christmas decorations. He climbed into his attic while Terry whined at him from below. There were several boxes full of ornaments and décor. The last time he even touched this stuff was with Ty.  He helped every year, and then they'd take the kids to a Christmas tree farm to pick out a tree, getting hot cocoa on the way home. For a moment he sat quietly on the attic f lo or, running his fingers over Ty's  handwriting on the boxes. God, he missed that man. 

“Watch out!” L called as he dropped down the boxes he knew had nothing breakable in them. The fragile stuff he carried down carefully. It was much more difficult to do this alone, he realized. Terry wagged his whole back end while sniffing the boxes. “Come on buddy, let's decorate.”

Terry yipped in response and bolted down the stairs excitedly. L laughed at him. Surely the dog didn’t really understand what was going on. It brought a smile to his face to see how excited Terry was either way. He poked his head inside open boxes  on the living room floor  and sniffed around, tail going crazy. L sipped coffee and laughed at him as he organized the decorations on his  coffee  table. There was a large, pretty wreath for the front door, and icicle lights for the porch. Garland for the mantel with snow flake stickers for the glass door.

He stopped when he saw the stockings. Running a hand over the soft material, he took a deep breath as he lifted them out. Embroidered on each one was a name; Tyler, L, Sam, and Sean. L held them against his face as he cried into them. Maybe this was too much for him after all. Terry whined and tried licking L's face. He always seemed to know just what to do. “It's ok boy. I'm ok.” Pulling his phone out of his pocket, L decided he couldn't refrain from texting Light any longer. 

** Hey baby.  ** ** If you don't get off too late, do you want to help me decorate the house for Christmas? **

L waited patiently for a reply, knowing it may not come through immediately.  This was the busiest time of year for Light.

** I would love to! I get off at 6.  **

L smiled.  Having Light there would help so much, he knew.  Turning his attention to another box, L pulled out cookie cutters,  Christmas themed pot holders, spatulas and mixing bowls. Maybe he'd bake Christmas cookies while he waited for Light.  Baking would be a nice distraction. 

He brought everything into the kitchen and hand washed the baking ware. “Sugar cookies are simple. What do you say, boy?” Terry wagged his tail and stared at L, and L pretended that meant yes. L pulled out his large mixer and made sure he had all the ingredients. After that, he preheated the oven and got to work. Terry made a great sidekick, taste testing the batter and first batch of cookies with L. “They’re good, aren’t they?” Terry simply sat and offered one front paw, asking for more. “One more. But if you shit in the house, we’re never doing this again.”

By the time the final batch came out of the oven to cool, Light was letting himself in and saying hello as Terry raced toward him and jumped on him, so excited that it made one believe Terry thought he’d never see Light again. L popped out of the kitchen, cookie in hand for Light to try, “What do you think, babe?”

“Really good!” Light said as he munched and L kissed his cheek.

“How was work?” L asked as they made their way into the kitchen.

“It’s getting really busy. I’m kind of beat,” he said.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t have to come over,” L said, turning to him and placing a hand on Light’s chest.

“I wanted to,” he smiled, “I think with a little coffee I might come back to life.”

“I’ll put on a pot.”

As L got to work making coffee, Light stole a few more cookies and headed into the living room to take a peek at L’s decorations. When he saw the stockings on the coffee table, he immediately understood why L had called him. He picked them up and ran a thumb over Ty’s name.  _ I know I can’t replace you, but I’d like to think you’d want me to help him.  _

L made his way over to Light with  mug in hand and Light set the stockings down as he accepted the drink. “This must be hard for you,” Light said.

“Yeah,” L nodded, casting a glance at the stockings.

“Do you want to hang them, or put them away?”

“I’m not sure.” L thought about it a moment, “I think looking at them  everyday would be too hard.”

“Alright, then there’s your answer. Maybe we can have a separate box of things you struggle with, and we’ll keep that safe and tucked away in the attic, out of sight but not gone,” Light said as he reached out his free hand and brought L into a hug. L nodded against Light’s chest. He knew having him over was the right move.

Together they carefully wrapped up several sentimental ornaments and placed them in a box. One had L’s wedding date and there were several the children had made for him. They went in a small box along with the stockings, and Light closed it up, labeled it, and brought it up into the attic for L. It was hard to do, but somehow it made L feel better. They weren’t being thrown out, and they’d always be remembered. And maybe one day he’d have the strength to hang them again. When Light came back downstairs, L got out the icicle lights and grinned. “These fuckers are always a pain in the ass to hang. You ready?”

Light laughed, “Sure.”


	11. Planning Trips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super cute fluffy chapter. That is all.

The next weekend, Light and L decided to go get a tree together for L’s house. Light didn’t get for his apartment because his place was honestly too small for one. But he thoroughly enjoyed the experience of accompanying L to a Christmas Tree farm. “I’ve never done this before,” Light admitted as he took in the beauty of all the trees and the fresh smell of pine.

“Really?” L was kind of surprised. “It was our annual tradition.”

“Can it be our tradition too?” Light asked.

L smiled, “I’d love that.”

They’d stopped for hot cocoa on the way and walked the farm, gazing at tree after tree. To Light, they basically all looked the same. But to L, he had to find that perfect tree that ‘spoke’ to him. He brushed branches with his fingertips and circled a few with critical eyes only to say, “Nope,” and move on. Finally, after about an hour, L settled on what he considered ‘the one’. 

“You’re sure?” Light asked, amused at the whole process.

“Quite.” L had decided. They called over an employee, and the tree was cut, placed on some strange conveyor belt, and netted. Light thought the whole thing was really quite neat. They strapped the tree to the top of L’s car and brought it home.

“Terry, if you pee on  it, you’re dead.” The dog whined a bit but backed away from the large tree that had just invaded his space.

Once it was up, they strung pretty white lights and L opened a box of ornaments to hang. “Before you get started,” Light said, blushing slightly, “I want to give you your gift early.”

“Oh?” L turned to him, receiving the small box wrapped in green paper. L tore the paper open and lifted the cardboard lid off, revealing a silver picture frame with a photo of the two of them inside. On the side it said “Our First Christmas”. L could feel the tears welling behind his eyes. It was a sweet gesture. “I love this so much.”

“I wanted you to be able to hang something sentimental on the tree that didn’t make you sad,” Light said as he embraced L.

“Thank you. This is very sweet of you,” L smiled into the hug and sniffled a bit, then let Light go and wiped his tears. “I think I want to hang this front and center.”

After placing the ornament in its carefully selected spot, he turned to Light, “Do you want your gift now?”

“Sure.”

L ran upstairs to pull the wrapped gift from his closet, and raced back downstairs, nearly tripping and falling in his excited rush. He handed the bag over to Light, with the bottle of wine unwrapped and sporting a tastefully placed bow. Inside the bag were two wrapped gifts. When Light removed the red paper, he laughed to find L’s face plastered across underwear and socks. “I am going to wear the crap out of these!”

The two resumed their decorating, admiring their work as they ate cookies and drank coffee. Afterward, they snuggled on the couch and  marathoned Christmas classics until they both fell asleep. Sometime late in the night, Light woke and smiled at a sleeping L who was curled up in Light’s side. “Come on, sleepy head. Let’s go upstairs.” L grumbled and groaned and didn’t quite wake up, so Light carried him upstairs.

***

Christmas evolved into New  Years , which gave way to a very romantic Valentine’s Day, which led to Spring. With it came warmer weather, flowers blooming, and progress for L in therapy. He'd started a new medication that took the edge off and elevated his mood. Driving was easier, crowds were easier. He couldn't do a lot of things still, but he was working on it.

** Want to get away with me for  ** ** Spring ** ** break? **

L stared at the text for a while, contemplating his answer. Yes, of course he wanted to go away with Light. The question  was _ could he _ ? Any beach Light wanted to go to was a pretty far drive. L's current maximum for car ride time was thirty minutes.

** Can Terry come? **

Light laughed at the question. He expected L to bring Terry. He'd been working toward training him as his service animal, and it was rare that L did anything without him.

** Of course.  ** 😁

Relieved, L contemplated his next move. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard for a moment as he thought.  _ Might as well be straight forward with him. _

** I'm down! I'll be honest  ** ** though, ** ** a long drive makes me nervous. I want to go  ** ** though ** ** . **

Light was excited L said yes, and had anticipated he'd be nervous.

** We can make all the pitstops we need, baby. Whatever makes you most comfortable. **

L definitely felt like he didn't deserve such an understanding boyfriend. It certainly encouraged him to continue making progress with his problems. The nightmares had all but stopped, and he could speak openly about his family without breaking down. He’d even put a few pictures back out. One was on his nightstand and a few of his favorites were placed on the mantle.

They’d settled on a trip to the nearest beach and L found he was more excited than anxious to go. He smiled at the family picture in his room as he went through his closet to try and figure out what he wanted to bring. Frowning, he looked down at Terry, “I have nothing to wear. And before you judge me, yes, I realize I sound like a teenage girl.” L ransacked his dresser drawers as well, and wondered how the hell he’d gotten this far in his relationship with Light without Light ever saying anything about his horrendous wardrobe. Light was always impeccably dressed. Then again, he made that delivery guy uniform look sexy so maybe it was just him. L decided he’d need reinforcements and shot a text to Light.

** Want to go shopping with me for the trip? I need new clothes anyway and I just realized I don’t even own a bathing suit. **

Of course, Light replied with an enthusiastic  ** Sure!  ** It looked like they had a date to go shopping after Light got off work. Perfect. L hopped in the shower and got ready while he waited, thinking to himself that just a few short months ago he would’ve never been able to go to a mall and shop in stores with crowds of people. Now, however, it didn’t even occur to him to be nervous. He smiled at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Being with Light had been so good for him. And to think none of this progress would have ever been made had he not stepped out on a limb and asked if Light would have dinner with him. He recalled how he almost chickened out, but something inside him thought ‘what the hell?’ He’s glad he listened to that little voice.

Terry began barking crazily, racing down the stairs as he sounded the alarm. Light had arrived. “Up here!” L called as he finished pulling his shirt overhead. Light entered the room in all is adorable glory and L smiled into the kiss he offered.

“Ready to go?”

“Yup! Just  gotta put  T’s vest on.”

Light stood by and watched as Terry stood obediently and waited while L slid his “Service Dog” vest on and placed the Halti over his muzzle. L walked Terry around the yard for a moment to relieve himself before loading him into the car. The dog laid quietly in the back, knowing his job full and well by this point. Light took L’s hand as he drove, and they chatted easily about nothing as they went.

It had been years since L had been to the mall, and the experience was quite overwhelming. Light squeezed his hand, “Just say the word and we’ll leave.”

“Honestly, with you and  T here I feel fine,” L smiled. They studied the directory, trying to map out a plan of all the stores they wanted to hit up. As they were talking amongst themselves, a young lady and her boyfriend walked up and reached for Terry. L glared, feeling uncomfortable. 

Sensing his boyfriend’s need, Light stepped in, “I’m so sorry, but as you can see, the vest clearly says to refrain from petting. The dog is working right now, and it can confuse him.”

The couple looked at them like Light and L had three heads and walked away without a word. L let out the breath he’d been holding. “Thank you.”

“No worries, babe. Alright, so, do you know where we’re going?”

“Yup.”

As they walked and shopped, several more people had to be chased away by Light when they attempted to pet Terry without asking. Irritated, he finally said, “Can they not fucking read? It’s literally right on his vest!”

L laughed so hard he had to stop walking and hold his stomach. Realizing how he sounded, Light began to giggle as well. The two of them carried on, giggling over the outburst. They ended their shopping trip with a meal in the courtyard and ice cream by the water fountain outside. It was evening by now, and the night sky was a stunning spectacle, clear of any clouds so all the stars and moon shone bright. L held Light’s hand and for the first time, truly felt he couldn’t live without Light. L never thought he’d want to get married again, but in that moment as he watched how the moonlight glowed brilliantly against his wonderful boyfriend’s face, he knew he did.


	12. Vacation!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L have fun at the beach

The drive to their beach vacation destination was rough. L had taken a sleep aid and was out for the first half of the trip. When he awoke, however, his anxiety mounted and Light found himself pulling over every thirty minutes to let L breathe. He took Terry for short walks or bought junk food in whatever gas station they stopped in.  It made L feel terrible for delaying  them so much, but Light seemed tired more than upset or irritated. 

They finally pulled into the hotel around 10pm, Light feeling beyond exhausted. L didn't say much to him as they checked in and brought their luggage into the elevator.  The ride up was silent except for Terry's panting, and L began to wonder if Light was angry with him. Maybe he'd ruined the whole trip before they even started .  Would Light ever want to go anywhere with him again? L twisted Terry's leash in his hands as they exited the elevator and Light slid the key card into their door.

Once inside, L turned to shut the door. Light dropped his bags and turned to his anxious looking boyfriend. Reaching out, he squeezed L's hands, “Stop it,” he said softly, kindness in his tired voice. “ We made it. Try to relax.”

L melted a bit to see that Light had held nothing against him . With a deep breath he exhaled his worries and relaxed his shoulders. Unleashing the dog, L followed after Light as he collapsed in the bed, fully clothed. “I love you,” L mumbled into his side. He was met with gentle snoring.

Rising from the bed, L slid Light’s shoes and socks off, then undressed himself. Terry needed to eat dinner, so L rummaged through the bags until he found the dogs bowls and food. Once Terry was satisfied, L walked back over to the bed, finding he was pretty beat too. He kissed Light's hair before getting back in bed with him, Terry curled at their feet.

The next day they explored the beach. Terry took to the water quite nicely. The two men found out just how much the dog enjoyed playing Frisbee as well. They played in the stunning waters and Light laid out to work on his tan as L sat beneath an umbrella and read a book. Terry stretched out in the sand beneath the umbrella and passed out. He'd never had such fun.

The three of them enjoyed a seaside dinner at a local restaurant.  Endless crab legs with plenty of melted butter for dipping  were an excellent compliment to the stunning sunset beside them. Terry snuck a few scraps that made it to the floor even though he wasn't _ supposed _ to eat anything while on the job. L pretended not to notice. 

The two lovers held hands as they walked the beach afterward, Terry loping up and down the sands  as the waves gently lapped at his paws.  Light stopped and pulled L into him for a passionate kiss by moonlight.  Terry barked his objection in the background, but they ignored him as the kiss grew needy.  Light sucked on L's tongue, his hands pulling him down into the sand with him. 

Separating his wet mouth from Light’s, L hastily began removing his clothing. Light did the same, the soft sand a slight abrasive against his sun kissed skin. They hadn't any lube, but that didn't stop L from rocking his erection against Light's with  fervor, his warm breath tickling Light’s neck as L clutched his shoulders and rode him fast and hard.

“Ah! L!  Don't stop! Oh  Goooooood !” Light gave way to the madness of sex on a public beach.  Perhaps part of the thrill was  possibly getting caught. Spreading his legs as far as he could, Light couldn't help his eyes as they closed or how his mouth hung open as he moaned under the moonlight.

Terry had, for the most part, settled down to watch the show, only whimpering occasionally. So, when he began barking as though an intruder were entering their home uninvited, L sat up quite straight and ceased his passionate fucking. “Oh_ shit.”_ He leapt up from Light and gathered his clothes, booking his white, bare ass across the sand as fast as he possibly could.

Light, dazed from _almost _coming, looked up in the direction of Terry's protective point, and his eyes widened. They had onlookers! He could only make out silhouettes, but they were definitely laughing. Panicked, he scattered sand everywhere as he grabbed up his clothing, “Terry! Let's go!”

It didn't take Light long to catch up to L, who wasn’t particularly fast or in very good shape. They stopped beneath a boardwalk, bent over and panting. Once they had caught a bit of breath, they laughed.  L drew Light in for a sweaty kiss and  looked adoringly at him. “This is the most fun I've ever had,” he smiled.

“Good,” Light smiled crookedly back, so in love with the man before him that sometimes he felt he might shatter apart. They shook out their clothes and dressed. Not every grain of sand could be expelled, however, and it was a rather uncomfortable walk back to their hotel room. They regretted nothing, however.

The rest of the trip consisted of hot sex, pillow fights,  treating L for sunburn and  enjoying room service.  By the last night, they were too tired to do _ anything.  _ Even Terry slept solidly pretty much all that last day.  L and Light took turns drooling on each other as they napped on and off, the TV against the wall before them droning on quietly, ignored. 

The drive home wasn't as bad as the drive there. L slept again from pure exhaustion, but when he woke, he wasn't anxious at all. They were both glad for the progress, and it encouraged Light that maybe L could do more traveling with him in the future. “Come on babe,” Light rocked L gently.

L stirred and stretched with a loud yawn, which Light giggled at softly. Terry jumped out of the car when Light came around and opened the door, stretching and yawning as well. L took the hands Light offered and hoisted himself out of his seat. Together they grabbed L's luggage and made their way to the front door. “Why can't you stay the night again?” L asked as he unlocked his front door.

“I have work early in the morning,” Light smiled as he kissed L goodnight, “I love you, babe.”

“I love you too,” L whispered as he let Light go and watched him get back in his car and drive off. It was strange being home again. The quiet of it all, the emptiness. In that moment, L decided he'd ask Light to move in with him. Maybe he’d have a special dinner and ask. He smiled. “Come on Terry, let's go to bed.”


	13. I'll Always Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion to our little adventure.

Anxiety peaked within L as he frantically scrolled through Amazon on his computer. Light was graduating college soon, and he needed to get him a worthy gift. Nothing sounded right, however. A compass was too cheesy. Light’s father was getting him a watch. Somehow glasses that said “Educated AF” didn’t pass the grade, either. “Oh, Ter, what is a guy to do?” L said as he scratched the head resting on his knee as the dog sat beneath his desk. Terry whined. “Why don’t I just take him out to a nice dinner?” L began googling restaurant’s, scrolling through reviews until he found the perfect place. It had an option to make a reservation online. _Perfect._

Light was coming over after work that evening, so L closed out of his computer and stretched before getting up to go shower. “And no, you cannot get in the tub with me this time,” he chastised. Terry cocked his head sideways and L wondered how he went so long without a dog.

Once he was clean and dressed, he figured it would be smart to get a head start on dinner for he and Light. The guy was always starving after his shift, L didn't have to ask if was hungry.  Pasta was his typical go to because it simple and L was admittedly a bit lazy. 

Terry barked his usual warning call, leaping on Light when he walked in.  Excitedly , Light grabbed L's hands, “Babe! I've been offered an _ amazing _ job opportunity after college! My dad got me the hook up!”

“Oh really? Where? Doing what?”

“Private security in the United States.”

L's heart dropped and his head spun. “Did you accept?”

“ Yeah. I'm so excited. Say you'll go with me, please! We've been together almost a year and this just feels so right.”

“Baby,” L sighed,  pulling his hands from Light’s slowly, “Let's sit down and talk about this. ” They made their way to the table and Light knew in his heart this wasn't going to go well. “I  am very excited for you, but  I can't go with you. ” L's eyes filled with tears as he continued, reaching across the table for Light's hand. “I love you so much, and  I want this opportunity for you. But  I can't go. My home is here, it always has been and it always will be.”

Light hung his head, wiping his tears with his free hand, “Please don't do this. Please.”

“Baby, I could barely take a drive to the beach. How am I supposed to get on a plane? Adjust to a whole new country? ”

“I will decline the position,” Light said almost frantically. “I'll find a job here.”

“No, I won't let you do that,” L's eyes glistened as he smiled at Light through his tears. “You’ve helped me grow so much. Now it's my turn to help you. I couldn't stand it knowing that I held you back from a great opportunity. Besides,  what about the next opportunity that comes along that  I can't join you in? What then? You can't live your life around me.”

Light had no good response other than to squeeze L's hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too, and I've learned that part of love is knowing when to let go. You've got such a bright future ahead of you and I'm_ so_ proud of you.” L stood and walked around the table, pulling Light into a hug. L stroked the young man's back as he heaved and sniffled. When Light pulled back, L placed a tender kiss to his lips, allowing it to linger as though that may be the last time. “It's up to you because I know it might be too painful, but, we don't have to break up until you actually leave. I'll respect your wishes if you feel you can't do that.”

Light ran his fingers through silky black locks, “Are you kidding? Of course I want to stay with you as long as possible. I want to make love to you until you change your mind,  damnit .”

L snickered slightly at the joke. He wanted that too. He wanted a lot of things, like to be able to get on a plane without crippling fear, to adjust to a new life without spiraling into mental illness.  He wanted to be able to leave the land his family was buried in and believe he wouldn't feel guilty about it. 

This was the best decision for them both, despite how bad it hurt. As they made their way into the bedroom,  Light laid L ou t on the bed and mapped his entire naked body with his mouth like he would never forget it if he did so.  He'd make love to L just like he promised, loving him and connecting with him in a way that bound their souls, so that no matter how far apart they were from each other, they'd know their love was real, it was lasting, and it was rare.

In the days and weeks that followed,  Light quit his job as he prepared to graduate, spending all his newfound free time with L. Occasionally he'd ask L to go with him again. Sometimes he broke down completely, unable to envision his life without L.  It was a bittersweet time as they celebrated Light’s graduation with his family and went out on that special dinner date L had planned. 

It was romantic and the restaurant perfect. The both of them winced a bit as a couple not far from them got engaged at the table.  “ Wanna get out of here?”

“Yes.”

They found themselves eating frozen yogurt and star gazing, drunk off the love they had for each other. L knew that just because you loved somebody didn't mean you got to spend forever with them. It was a difficult lesson Light was learning as well. As they sat on the hood of Light’s old car, he shot L a sideways glance, “If it doesn't work out in the States you better take me back.”

“Keep the key I gave you. My door is always open.” L nudged Light and pointed “Look at that!” 

“What?” The moment Light’s head was turned, L took a huge bite out of Light’s frozen yogurt. “You shithead!” Light laughed, realizing he'd been duped.

L threw his head back laughing, uncaring that he just gave himself brain freeze.  After a moment, he noticed Light wasn’t laughing, but looking at him longingly. “What is it?”

“Marry me, L.”

“No,” it broke L's heart to say it, and he gave Light a warning look not to go down this path and ruin their good time.

“It was worth a shot,”  Light smirked, recovering.

_ Yes,  _ L thought,  _ it was.  _


End file.
